My Dad broke his hip a year ago today. He fell outside the car dealership where we were due to collect his new Motability car. I was there because at that point he was not driving as far as he used to and so I had driven us there in his old car allowing him to drive us home in the new one. That is not quite what happened.

If you read my weeknotes you are probably aware that for the last year I have been a more active *carer for my parents along with Mick my partner and that we moved to Dorset in 2020 to be closer to them and to support their needs as they were at that time.

After his operation in March 2024, Dad was in hospital for a week. Since he came home he has needed a great deal of support. My Mum also needed help with things that Dad would normally do. I have done most of the driving as Dad is still not all that confident about getting in out, although he can drive it fine as it is an automatic (Mum can’t drive). Mum is getting better at ordering online groceries but there are some things we need to buy more regularly or can only buy from certain shops so I am nearly always buying bananas and Lidl yogurts.

I am often called on to do things such as get things down from high shelves or change the duvet cover. Sometimes they ask me to sort out a technical challenge with their Android phones 😱 or their Windows PCs 🤯. We also have a medium length list of bigger jobs to do such as take down the greenhouse and get rid of it, pack up and store room contents so that the carpet can be replaced and Mick spent a good period of time fixing their gate which Storm Darrah did for.

Both have regular appointments with the GP, hospital, physio (Dad), hairdresser & dentist (Mum). I had a great relationship with the local pharmacy but we have switched to an online pharmacy which does dose packs as that was difficult cognitively with so many similar tablets and too painful for my Mum’s (and my) hands.

It has definitely been a learning experience and particularly in the early days I was annoying to them as they are fiercely independent and I would do things which took away their agency. I have learned and also we have a better idea of what they want to do and what they are happy for me & Mick to get on with now.

I feel incredibly lucky to be able to live five minutes away from my parents and to be able to support them. We are all settling into it now as it has been over four years now in total but much more over the past year. I also get to live in beautiful Dorset.

*There are many unpaid carers in the UK taking up a lot of slack. If you are in this situation take a look at the Carers UK website.